Alrighty, so today i started a book. Yup another one, that fingers crossed, i will actually complete. Not that i haven't and won't complete crazy love, but this one's different. I am reading this new book, with my lovely friend and mentor. "A Love Worth Giving" by Max Lucado. I started on the first chapter today, and found myself rather enjoying it. It's not so harsh and convicting as Crazy Love, still a magnificent book, but Max takes a softer approach and his just appeals to me differently. I really liked what i read today and wanted to share a core value of what spoke to me the most, with you people...so here goes...
Most of the chapter is explaining how we can never truly show love, unless we are given it (in the correct form) first, ultimate experiencing God's unconditional love. If you are shown little then you love little, however we are called to love one another, it is one of the greatest commandments and we "believe" that we can do this, but normally fail, because we lose the genuine attitude that follows behind it.
Personally i don't want show someone love unless it's out of the depths of my heart and shown in a way that portrays that of the love of christ or mimics his to a certain degree. I don't want to pity love someone, because it's the right thing to do?! you know?! i wouldn't want that done for me, so how can i expect to give that and have a sufficient meaning for someone else.
As i read on, it continues to explain how we really cannot love someone, or multiple people correctly unless we have experienced true love from him, ourselves. The only love that never fails us, is the love that comes from Jesus Christ.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8 says,
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
Those are powerful and comforting words! It gives us hope to just read and have an understanding of it.
Now that you've been given the scripture, like the book did, i'm going to challenge you to place your name where "love" or "it" is and read it over and over.
"Mary is patient, mary is kind. Mary does not envy, mary does not boast, she is not proud. Mary is not rude, she is not self-seeking.....and lie and lie and lie...."
You really can't continue it, because as you start the first line you ultimately realize that it isn't a true statement once you put your name in...kind of humbles you huh?! Shoot it sure did for me. As i read it all the way through with my name, God was like ha funny isn't it?! No it's convicting in a good way and kinda becomes an eye opener. However, with it coming off as a lie, we are able to realize that this is the ultimate task we are given to drive our lives towards. These verses, with our names placed in, should be what we strive to become and live for...or how i understood it at least, unless the Big Man is wrong...and newsflash, he's that guy that GOD, he's always right!
Looking for a little less guilt, well read the verse again like normal, and then replace it with this.
"Jesus is patient, jesus is kind. Jesus does not envy, jesus does not boast, he is not proud. Jesus is not rude, he is not self-seeking, he is not easily angered, he is keeps no record of wrong! Jesus does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. Jesus always protects, Jesus always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Jesus never fails!"
Tell me please, where you do not find that comforting and try to tell me you don't feel loved after reading it?!?! You can't! It's the plain truth. There is no greater love than the love of our father and jesus christ. He's always going to be there! And with that being said, maybe we need to strive to be more intentional with those around us and a little more flexible in our daily lives, i mean come on, God is always there for us, always waiting, he is patient!!!
I struggle with patience alot! Believe me do i ever, ask any of my friends, i have good moments i really do, but many other times, geeeeez i don't. So today i made another little bracelet and added another simple one, but with the word patience...as a reminder of what i need to seek throughout my walk over the next couple of months, and however long this bracelet lasts, and if it's awhile then hopefully it will become a part of my daily life.
But enough rant for today, take the challenge as you will...
Love never Fails! Jesus never Fails!
-mare
Friday, April 23, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
"creek bliss"
so typical me..... i wrote down in my journal my "blog" because the wi fi couldn't reach down by the creek, but what happens...it doesn't get typed up till today the 16th, and i dated the journal entry the 8th...
anyhoo, here it is...
So today i get the privilege of blogging at the best location possible. "The creek". And i'm lucky enough that it's just me, the falls, a very chipper bird and some kyle park and aaron watson...good' ol texas country. I just almost can't get over, just how amazingly beautiful it is outside today. I wish that the scene that surrounds me now, was the exact picture i woke up to face the beginning of my day, everyday. It's moments like these, that i can just sit and bask in the "aww" factor of God's glory and beautiful works. Like seriously, the big man knew what he was doing. From designing it ALL from the creek, to the rocks, to the people who made my necklace, to my scar on my foot, to my bike that caused this stupid scar. And each thing in his eye is beautiful and has a purpose in his creation.
I like, no LOVE, knowing that the same God who made such a gorgeous day, made me as well!!!
Besides today's weather, its been a good day because i only have a single class and work on thursdays. Therefore i get to wake up, get ready, go to a great job, that i'm blessed with it's flexibility, and sold formal tickets in the sub as well and enjoyed great company of some of the world's most fantastic friends. If you asked me this time last year what my life would look like now, it wouldn't look even close to this. I honestly can't imagine being anywhere else and being this happy!
Another joy added to my day, is i finally asked this certain someone to be my mentor. I've thought about it alot and realized how much an impact it would help with my spiritual walk and i would just get to become closer friends with her as well, to top it off! She is so incredibly joyful and i know that it comes from her love of the Lord and living a life that glorifies him.
All this being said... I came to a decision last night. For the longest time my life has consisted of living for christ but slacking in a personal relationship with him. I have come to realize alot lately, recently, previously and notice i get back into my routine of feeling and thinking "i can do it on my own god, i'm good but thanks anyways". I'll pray here and there, and have a "quiet time" when i "feel" like it...(man the quotations are heavy today)...Then something like focus or revival or biblestudy comm group comes up and i realize it again and have a longing to change it and two days later i'm back to square one. I know this sounds like i had a realization moment and i did, yes, but i know without a doubt in my mind that i want to get off my treadmill of a life and start blazing a trail, a trail that consists of living for him but also loving his people and truly understanding and seeking what it means to be "in" Love with him. It's going to take time i know that and i'm glad, no reason to rush, because he's always there, but no putting him aside and abusing his patience and persistence .
I am blessed with so incredibly much. I have a health and happy "together" family. Amazing, Amazing friendships, and so much more...and i can't rely on him or give him my best? and i have a friend who's mamoo is pretty sick and she's going through so very much and my friend finds joy in suffering and my friend finds joy in it, and stands strong in her walk and manages to do her job and school work and never ever gets stressed because she knows it's not worth it, when it comes to eternity and gives it all to one creator and i am absolutely blessed and manage to let worry and stress rule my life and slothfulness and lazyness as well, run prevalent through me. It's not fair to bug, not fair to me and definaetly not fair to GOD who deserves nothing better than all of me and can handle all my worries. However, i can not let my faith and personal relationship be motivated out of guilt, and i won't.
Soooo...No more treadmill
Grabbing a walking stick (God) and blazing a new trail.
"For this is the day the Lord
has made and i will rejoice
and be glad in it!"
-well that was quite an extensive rant...making up for time missed...ish
love much
-mare
anyhoo, here it is...
So today i get the privilege of blogging at the best location possible. "The creek". And i'm lucky enough that it's just me, the falls, a very chipper bird and some kyle park and aaron watson...good' ol texas country. I just almost can't get over, just how amazingly beautiful it is outside today. I wish that the scene that surrounds me now, was the exact picture i woke up to face the beginning of my day, everyday. It's moments like these, that i can just sit and bask in the "aww" factor of God's glory and beautiful works. Like seriously, the big man knew what he was doing. From designing it ALL from the creek, to the rocks, to the people who made my necklace, to my scar on my foot, to my bike that caused this stupid scar. And each thing in his eye is beautiful and has a purpose in his creation.
I like, no LOVE, knowing that the same God who made such a gorgeous day, made me as well!!!
Besides today's weather, its been a good day because i only have a single class and work on thursdays. Therefore i get to wake up, get ready, go to a great job, that i'm blessed with it's flexibility, and sold formal tickets in the sub as well and enjoyed great company of some of the world's most fantastic friends. If you asked me this time last year what my life would look like now, it wouldn't look even close to this. I honestly can't imagine being anywhere else and being this happy!
Another joy added to my day, is i finally asked this certain someone to be my mentor. I've thought about it alot and realized how much an impact it would help with my spiritual walk and i would just get to become closer friends with her as well, to top it off! She is so incredibly joyful and i know that it comes from her love of the Lord and living a life that glorifies him.
All this being said... I came to a decision last night. For the longest time my life has consisted of living for christ but slacking in a personal relationship with him. I have come to realize alot lately, recently, previously and notice i get back into my routine of feeling and thinking "i can do it on my own god, i'm good but thanks anyways". I'll pray here and there, and have a "quiet time" when i "feel" like it...(man the quotations are heavy today)...Then something like focus or revival or biblestudy comm group comes up and i realize it again and have a longing to change it and two days later i'm back to square one. I know this sounds like i had a realization moment and i did, yes, but i know without a doubt in my mind that i want to get off my treadmill of a life and start blazing a trail, a trail that consists of living for him but also loving his people and truly understanding and seeking what it means to be "in" Love with him. It's going to take time i know that and i'm glad, no reason to rush, because he's always there, but no putting him aside and abusing his patience and persistence .
I am blessed with so incredibly much. I have a health and happy "together" family. Amazing, Amazing friendships, and so much more...and i can't rely on him or give him my best? and i have a friend who's mamoo is pretty sick and she's going through so very much and my friend finds joy in suffering and my friend finds joy in it, and stands strong in her walk and manages to do her job and school work and never ever gets stressed because she knows it's not worth it, when it comes to eternity and gives it all to one creator and i am absolutely blessed and manage to let worry and stress rule my life and slothfulness and lazyness as well, run prevalent through me. It's not fair to bug, not fair to me and definaetly not fair to GOD who deserves nothing better than all of me and can handle all my worries. However, i can not let my faith and personal relationship be motivated out of guilt, and i won't.
Soooo...No more treadmill
Grabbing a walking stick (God) and blazing a new trail.
"For this is the day the Lord
has made and i will rejoice
and be glad in it!"
-well that was quite an extensive rant...making up for time missed...ish
love much
-mare
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
no surprise...
Sooooo I've barely started this new chapter of my journey, and already i'm lagging behind. pretty much my life story i feel like, or at least half of the time. However, i at least caught myself before it really got out of hand, and i put it off a week later or something of that sort.
Now due to the time of night, i will just have to fill you in on Monday's occurrences later on, in a separate post. But it'll be worth the wait i promise; actually probably not, but whatever. Anyhoo, today was tuesday. Usually not one of my busier days, only one class for the day and that is mathematics review and working in "the office." As for today work consisted of, helping out with fyc and selling formal tickets in the sub. Sadly for the time spent there, my good looks didn't get any sales, and ended in an epic fail, of 0 tickets sold during the two hours i sat there. Oh well, hopefully the others will be more successful in the days to follow, because i think it's gonna turn out to be a good year for formal.
Moving on, the morning started off well, with a very needed and relaxing shower. Thursday? yep that was the last....well you get the idea. Talked to God a little in the shower like usual, and while i was getting ready. Found myself off track at some points, and ended with a bit of frustration...which i am not fond of when wanting to spend time with him. However, after cleaning my room for roomcheck and before my 4 o clock class, i had a good half hour of quiet time. I didn't get into the word, but read half of chapter 8 in "Crazy Love", the profile of the obsessed. In all honesty i haven't been keeping up with reading it lately, and today seemed perfect to hop back on track. It was absolutely gorgeous outside, so i sat by the pond and basked in the sun, and expanded my brain for some needed reading time. I really enjoyed having that moment of peace, just that whole concept of taking time to be alone, and in quiet. This causes me to question, if i can feel this way by just grabbing a book and plopping down, then what is still holding me back from plopping down with the greatest book ever written and listening to what God has in store for me, or spending time with him?!?!
------------------------i fell asleep while stretching here, seriously, story of my life-------------------------------------
OK back to where i left off, sorry. Basically, i am learning more everyday, and that little moment by the pond, was a definite learning moment, and sitting down and focusing on that i can see it. my goal is to finish crazy love within the next few days or week or so, and then start something new, and really work on being consistent with it...not really sure which book, but any book i think will do.
So looking back, now that its a different day once again, i realize that yesterday was just another rough one, and it got alot better as the day went on, but just being sick and silly other little stuff consumes me, it reallllllly does, and i can't lie but i really like being in control. and just realizing, that once i let loose and had a good time, like the softball game (which not to brag, but we won, against a "were too cool/show off team" and i had so much fun, with everyone on the team) and then after i went and grabbed mc d's with evan, taylor and nicki, and it was so fun, as always, and stopped by the conference center, which i have been to every night this week, and i've missed getting to be there.
But anyhoo thats where i was yesterday/today/ tuesday, a new form of ranting
-mare
Now due to the time of night, i will just have to fill you in on Monday's occurrences later on, in a separate post. But it'll be worth the wait i promise; actually probably not, but whatever. Anyhoo, today was tuesday. Usually not one of my busier days, only one class for the day and that is mathematics review and working in "the office." As for today work consisted of, helping out with fyc and selling formal tickets in the sub. Sadly for the time spent there, my good looks didn't get any sales, and ended in an epic fail, of 0 tickets sold during the two hours i sat there. Oh well, hopefully the others will be more successful in the days to follow, because i think it's gonna turn out to be a good year for formal.
Moving on, the morning started off well, with a very needed and relaxing shower. Thursday? yep that was the last....well you get the idea. Talked to God a little in the shower like usual, and while i was getting ready. Found myself off track at some points, and ended with a bit of frustration...which i am not fond of when wanting to spend time with him. However, after cleaning my room for roomcheck and before my 4 o clock class, i had a good half hour of quiet time. I didn't get into the word, but read half of chapter 8 in "Crazy Love", the profile of the obsessed. In all honesty i haven't been keeping up with reading it lately, and today seemed perfect to hop back on track. It was absolutely gorgeous outside, so i sat by the pond and basked in the sun, and expanded my brain for some needed reading time. I really enjoyed having that moment of peace, just that whole concept of taking time to be alone, and in quiet. This causes me to question, if i can feel this way by just grabbing a book and plopping down, then what is still holding me back from plopping down with the greatest book ever written and listening to what God has in store for me, or spending time with him?!?!
------------------------i fell asleep while stretching here, seriously, story of my life-------------------------------------
OK back to where i left off, sorry. Basically, i am learning more everyday, and that little moment by the pond, was a definite learning moment, and sitting down and focusing on that i can see it. my goal is to finish crazy love within the next few days or week or so, and then start something new, and really work on being consistent with it...not really sure which book, but any book i think will do.
So looking back, now that its a different day once again, i realize that yesterday was just another rough one, and it got alot better as the day went on, but just being sick and silly other little stuff consumes me, it reallllllly does, and i can't lie but i really like being in control. and just realizing, that once i let loose and had a good time, like the softball game (which not to brag, but we won, against a "were too cool/show off team" and i had so much fun, with everyone on the team) and then after i went and grabbed mc d's with evan, taylor and nicki, and it was so fun, as always, and stopped by the conference center, which i have been to every night this week, and i've missed getting to be there.
But anyhoo thats where i was yesterday/today/ tuesday, a new form of ranting
-mare
Sunday, March 28, 2010
one month...
hello hello hello...
it's been awhile i have to say. and now is the time to change it! before i go into my rant, i would like to say that i have a blog saved in my drafts and it was very extensive and explained why i haven't written in this thing is so long, and shone insight into my spring break life. However, i didn't continue what i had started, and before i could go back to it, i was challenged...in the most needed, random and wonderful way possible. One night while waiting at revival my friend sarah texted me, talking about how she had no idea i had a blog, and how much she liked getting to read, and telling me how much she loved it. "thank you's" went on, and sarah continued and had more to say, that just compliments, her words to a certain estimate were, "mare i want to challenge you to write consistently each day for one month in your blog, about your god encounters and daily encounters, happy, sad, anything really, but just for a consistent month."
-Therefore, here i am, starting a new chapter in my journey, and probably at the perfect time. What sarah didn't know that upon my return, i had no extra excitement over returning and having revival, excited to be reunited with friends and etc...but no joy otherwise. the last thing honestly i wanted to do, was worship the God who deserves all of me, i have been in a rut, springbreak-breakaway was wonderful and i really applied and am working on what the messages had to say, but just got stuck in a rut inbetween end of breakaway, the rest of my sprinbreak and return to UMHB. i honestly only went to revival because everyone of my close friends were and i thought why not, can't hurt to just be there. What i didn't know was that the revival messages had a special impact of their own waiting...i needed to hear each one...
however, even though its what i know i needed i still continued to let stunt night, o-glorious stunt night rule my life and continued and have been still minded in i've got control. i'm still doing it, and not spending enough time with him and i know it, but i can not get this nagging feeling off my chest, i hate that spending time with him has been feeling like a chore, and it just overwhelms me. i know it shouldn't be, becuase i can take my time and work my way with baby steps with him guiding me, because a relationship with him is soooooo totally personal, and i can not compare mine and his relationship, with anyone elses. i tend to do that, ALOT.
-thats where i am with all of the rollercoaster emotions, but i wanta let you in on my absolutely wonderful, sponateneously fantastic weekend. buttttttt, it'll have to wait for another post.
-beginning rant of those to come.
-love mare
it's been awhile i have to say. and now is the time to change it! before i go into my rant, i would like to say that i have a blog saved in my drafts and it was very extensive and explained why i haven't written in this thing is so long, and shone insight into my spring break life. However, i didn't continue what i had started, and before i could go back to it, i was challenged...in the most needed, random and wonderful way possible. One night while waiting at revival my friend sarah texted me, talking about how she had no idea i had a blog, and how much she liked getting to read, and telling me how much she loved it. "thank you's" went on, and sarah continued and had more to say, that just compliments, her words to a certain estimate were, "mare i want to challenge you to write consistently each day for one month in your blog, about your god encounters and daily encounters, happy, sad, anything really, but just for a consistent month."
-Therefore, here i am, starting a new chapter in my journey, and probably at the perfect time. What sarah didn't know that upon my return, i had no extra excitement over returning and having revival, excited to be reunited with friends and etc...but no joy otherwise. the last thing honestly i wanted to do, was worship the God who deserves all of me, i have been in a rut, springbreak-breakaway was wonderful and i really applied and am working on what the messages had to say, but just got stuck in a rut inbetween end of breakaway, the rest of my sprinbreak and return to UMHB. i honestly only went to revival because everyone of my close friends were and i thought why not, can't hurt to just be there. What i didn't know was that the revival messages had a special impact of their own waiting...i needed to hear each one...
however, even though its what i know i needed i still continued to let stunt night, o-glorious stunt night rule my life and continued and have been still minded in i've got control. i'm still doing it, and not spending enough time with him and i know it, but i can not get this nagging feeling off my chest, i hate that spending time with him has been feeling like a chore, and it just overwhelms me. i know it shouldn't be, becuase i can take my time and work my way with baby steps with him guiding me, because a relationship with him is soooooo totally personal, and i can not compare mine and his relationship, with anyone elses. i tend to do that, ALOT.
-thats where i am with all of the rollercoaster emotions, but i wanta let you in on my absolutely wonderful, sponateneously fantastic weekend. buttttttt, it'll have to wait for another post.
-beginning rant of those to come.
-love mare
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