Sunday, October 24, 2010

and it's a little bittersweet

 Went home this weekend, because well i could. Had no plans here at school going on, no real crazy tests coming up on monday or anything like that, and realized how long it had been since i'd been home last. Let's just say wayyyyy too long! The last time i was home, was coming back from camp, unpacking repacking doing laundry within two days and then heading up to school to start off welcome week stuff. So it was needed, the seeing the family and a few really wonderful friends and the relaxing. God is good, and it shows through the people who love me. Went to the bonfire and peprally for ASU, definitely still San Angelo, not much has changed haha. Gosh i've missed mo and jill, so freaking much! The best part, is knowing we can go forever without talking or seeing eachother and or talking and when we do get to, its like we never left. Can't wait for summer, to be home around them, just that much more. And Peru comes as well with summer! So stoked! Anyhoo, it was good to be home, and aghh sleep in my wonderful haven of a room, thats so cold and dark, and my big bed, that you just crawl into and hide in the mesh of pillows and covers. The only downside to that room is it's little brother morris' domain as well( our pet cat), so i get woken up when he's ready to leave, or come in.         
  Did i mention i love my family? Squirt is getting taller still...that is not ok, i don't think the concept of a smaller bigger sister will sit well with me...yeah no! She's supposed to be my little 8 year old sister, who still pals around with the boys, and plays with woody and buzz. Nope she's a sixteen year old junior, taking more classes than anyone at her age should, she's brilliant, more than me thats for sure, she's gonna do big things in the world, and she loves jesus more than you can imagine! she's kinda my hero.
  Meme and pawpaw are still doing there thing, gotta love them. They always have something to do, or trying to fill there time with something...usually pleasing little bit (brianna) or attempting to. Pawpaw cracks me up with his camera (cannon rebel xrs..yeah serious) and taking pictures without anyone paying attention, and telling me i couldn't leave until he got one he liked. Its so good to see him back again, back to his old self, God is good! 
  So far this week isn't looking to be too terrible, thank goodness. Really wanting to try and strive to make pageant a higher importance, to give it the attention it needs, and the attention the directors deserved. Ya'll rock just so you know, thank you a million times over!!! Probably should practice the talent more than just during pageant practice, and need to definitely edit the platform and polish it up. Goal- be positive while i'm there, and intentional with the other girls, and can fall apart after. Be in the present not look to the future, as far as practice time period goes, oh and life in general. Still waiting for God to point out my purpose in pageant, hasn't really hit me yet, i mean i got the basic gist, but still not 100% sure. But it's good, yep.
  Really going to make a point to keep up the quiet times daily this week. Monday's always are the best, starting it off first thing in the morning, with a little coffee, and ang :) Started reading in James last week, and liked it, probably, no actually..will be going through that book some more. Yup time to get this week going, it's not a bad one, just need to give the lord the glory he deserves and giong in halfway just doesn't cut it.

Love you family, so so so much!

ending the rant, 
love mare

Monday, October 18, 2010

So...It's been awhile

     Alright so i realize i suck at following through with the commitments i've promised over this blog, with the two different books and such. Therefore when i get the inkling to do something new, i just won't tell you, and it'll be a surprise when it follows through. We'll just stick with updates and day to day thoughts.
     However, I would like to inform ya'll that over the summer while working at Pine Cove I did finish, A Love Worth Giving, by Max Lucado. I can't tell you how good it felt to accomplish finishing a book. Believe me it felt amazing, because the book was ridiculously wonderful. So much truth in it!
     Now for an update on where the Journey is at this moment for me. It's taken me into Pageant this year. Yes the one and only Miss MHB Pageant. Still funny hearing it put together, me Mary Catherine Baucom in a pageant, definitely made it's statement of irony tonight, as i fell down the steps for the second time since we've started practice. Typical. As weird as it is, I'm loving it; even as stressful and overwhelming it is, i really do love it. So far, i've gotten closer with some girls, i just didn't expect to outside of this setting. I am thankful for that. He's got a plan, and I'm seeing little nuggets of purpose in it, daily. Still trying to see the big picture of why he has me there though...guess it's a little more patience, and understanding that i possibly may not ever know. Oh well, nothing to worry over. What else, lets see...Oh i'm painting for my talent, while the song "Beautiful Things", by Micheal Gungor Band plays in the background. If you haven't heard this song, go listen...NOW... Google it, itune it, groove shark it, whatever you gotta do to find it, do it. It's powerful, or at least i think so. What is the painting? Well thats a surprise, if you really want to see, you'll just have to come to pageant in November (cough 12th&13th). My goal is just to do it with a humble heart, so that the painting isn't for man's pleasing eye, but to bring my heavenly father glory. Learning that more and more everytime we have talent night practice. As for the rest of pageant, eh it's a typical pageant with dance and stroll in an evening gown, platform, and interview. It'll be good. 

     Let's see, i'm most definitely confused with my life as far as career goes. Yup right back where i started, I feel like such a huge hypocrite when it comes to this subject. I decide on something and seem to be super excited and goal minded and as i go along i see that its really not that at all. Where am i at now? Business...Am i happy? Take a wild guess.....NO. It's driving me crazy, I've been in college almost 3 full semesters, and have switched majors for each one, and with the possibility of doing it again. I really wouldn't mind it if God was like here neon flashing sign for this major! Hint Hint dude! But thats not my place to say, it's his plan, not mine, just getting a little impatient is all. I feel like such a horrible steward of my time and my families money, UMHB as you all know ain't super cheap. Whatevs, the experience i've had so far is totally worth it. Besides the major thing. All i know for sure is that I love people, which is what keeps me motivated, and overly involved and committed to too much! I can't say no! Ever...Oh well. Anyhoo there is my dilemma, and i can't let suggestions from family or friends bog my mind, because i'll never be able to hear my heart in all of it, and especially the suggestions he's got for me. Kinda need to hear him out a little more. 

    Mhhhhhh anything else new...loving life in the apartments, God has given me so graciously the best roomates a girl could ask for. Gosh they put up with me on every level, i'm a mess and i'm not afraid to admit it. No denial here.They put up laundry for me when i forget to, they listen to my random rambles about whatever happens to be on my mind. They deal with my frog obsession, it's a little ridic i know i know. They are a blessing on many other levels, holding me accountable daily. I hope you three know i love you very much, and am so thankful for the love i receive from each of you. Ya'll are nothing but blessings, and i don't give ya'll enough credit ever. And on a lighter note, thank you for having a rocking sense of style, and freaking amazing taste in food, and MUSIC! I'd be lost without ya'll. 
Sarah visited this weekend! Missed the girl like crazy. First time i've seen anyone besides the family from home, in a lonnnnnnnggg time. We had a fabulous weekend, much needed conversation. Believe me when i say the girl is Wise! Love you best friend, you are a blessing as well. You are strong and passionate, keep trucking along. Be happy! Can't wait for May!!!!
Miss the family, can't wait to see All of them this weekend, when i make my first trip home this semester!!! Whoooo hoooo! Mom,Dad, Cally, MeMe, Pops, Oma, my girls, etc....Family is good! So good! I love you all so very much, just another wonderful blessing I'm so thankful for. Sorry, i know i've neglected our relationships a bit. 
Got an update not too long ago about summer. Ladies and gentlemen God has opened a door for me, to go back, to yes yes yes....PERU!!! Praise!!! I'm so overjoyed, they have a piece of my heart, and i cannot wait to be back there with everyone! 

Alright, a rant, an update, with a few pointless statements, but none the less a rant.

Thank you for making my mess beautiful! God, you are good

love mare